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Oh, These Poor Kids

Why is it that some parents are casting a lifetime of ridicule on their kids with crazy first names?  Obviously they are not thinking past the moment.  I did some research, of course, on what crazy names are being used for the new generation, and was slightly appalled at what these precious little people will have to put up with as they grow up.  Some of the spellings are impossible for anyone, let alone a 4 year old, (Aliviyah, Nevaeh, Reighleigh and Kaizyle) and the reasoning is just plain stupid.

There are pages and pages of names that I would not use on a pet, but I’ve narrowed it down to some of the more pathetic.

A couple in France chose to name their little girl “Nutella” but the judge turned them down when the name was registered.  He suggested “Ella” which seems more reasonable.

Another case in France (what’s with these people) wanted to name their child Prince William but the judge said it would bring a “lifetime of mockery” to the child so they picked another name – Minnie Cooper, which was also denied.

A New Zealand couple chose to name their little boy “4Real,” but this name was denied because it had a digit, and they were told this name was not 4Real.  They said they will call him 4Real, but his legal name will be Superman.

Another New Zealand couple, (these people are more nuts than the French), were going through a custody battle over their 9 year old daughter whose name was “Talula Does the Hula from Hawaii.” The judge blasted the couple for crippling their child “with a social disability and handicap, unnecessarily.” Bottom line:  The judge removed the girl from her parents’ custody, placed her into court guardianship and gave her a name that isn’t the silliest thing anyone has ever heard.

Parents are trying to be cute, weird, and creative.  Kids are being named after places (Bronx, Brooklyn,Tokyo, Arabia, Zealand and Nazareth), cars ( Subaru, Lexus, Infiniti, Audi and Porsche) brand names (Armani, Dasani, Dior, and Chanel), alcohol (Shiraz, Chardonnay, Gin, and Syra), body parts (Placenta and Anus – use your imagination for the other names) and fruits (Banana, Apple, Plum, Berry).

Parents also name siblings with corresponding ridiculous names – 2  brothers were named “Winner” and “Loser. Winner ended up in jail and Loser became a cop. Go figure!   The parents of twin girls were named their daughters LemonJello and OrangeJello, and Chef Jamie Oliver’s newborn Buddy Bear Maurice has siblings named Poppy Honey Rosie, Daisy Boo Pamela, and Petal Blossom Rainbow. Frank Zappa, from what I remember, was the first to bestow crazy names on his kids – Moon Unit, Dweezil, and Diva Thin Muffin.

Some people want to be related to royalty so they name their babies Queen, Princess, Her Majesty, Her Highness, King and Prince.  Wishful thinking, I guess.

A woman named her child Pajamas because she was looking through a catalog and liked the name.  Some people aren’t as original as others or when a name just didn’t come to them – they used Baby Girl and Kyd.

I have to put an end to this soapbox but, honestly, it was fun looking up these weird names, and believe me, there are hundreds.  Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed my research.

2 Comments on this Post

  1. Ron Kollitz

    john jacob jingleheimer schmidt…(that’s my name too)

    Reply

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