All Marriages are Mixed . . .

Couple Moving In
Couple Moving In

When It Comes To Home Decorating!

Wives frequently ask me, “How can my husband and I agree on decorating decisions and purchases for our home?”

When decorating our homes, it is often a reminder that we are all different – and those differences may be what attracted us to each other.  They can also cause the greatest conflicts.  Not until we understand ourselves and each other, are we able to openly communicate to find common ground.  Once this happens, we have enough similarities to overlook our differences and decorate a look that is unique as a couple.

Couples can bring strong beliefs into a relationship often not knowing where they originated. Some beliefs come from our histories, homes of friends and neighbors or media.

When this occurs, we must ask ourselves, “Is this how I want to live? Does it have lasting value for me?”

Is it part of your “interior” design (your internal design or feelings) or is it the influence of something you saw and liked but will not last for you?  Will you like it tomorrow?

Then ask, “Is this a representation of my authentic self?”  Is this how you want to live every day?  Do you feel good doing so?  When you can be honest and discover your true taste, you can talk with your significant other to see where your tastes are similar.

Couples are always amazed at how many things they both like when they strip away the beliefs, tastes and ideas that don’t belong to them.  They become more open and free to listen to the other person.

Then, they can create a look together and build their own history, traditions and memories.  Honesty is key.  Remember to speak from your heart.

Interior design can be fun and not a battle of the sexes.  For example, his modern and her country French can now be the popular Santa Barbara look.  The red he loved and the blue she loved became eggplant, offset by adding burnt orange and gold. The most important thing is that everyone stays open to new discoveries and possibilities.

Three elements are necessary to make design choices:  

1.    Understanding – learning about yourself.  You must become aware of your needs and wants for your environment. Your environment should serve and support you while giving you the look you love.

2.    Acceptance – the ability to accommodate all the things involved in making the project happen, such as budgeting, letting go of old ideas and items, and being open to the new.

3.    Allowing – giving yourself permission to proceed, no matter what it takes to see it through.

All three elements constitute my process that I call The Bajaro Method, my method of “interior” design.

When you, as an individual, have addressed each element, you can then explore them as a couple.  If you have children, they, too, can be brought into the discussion and their ideas combined to create your family’s style.

Remember, “Rooms have no feelings, YOU do!”

TBarbara Kaplanhrough her years of experience Barbara developed an interior design approach that she shares in her book, The Bajaro Method: Rooms Have No Feelings, You Do!, and has now expanded The Bajaro Method to include personal branding called “Living In Your Colors.”

Barbara is the Past President of International Furnishings and Design Association & Women At The Top, Allied Member of American Society of Interior Designers. Her company, Design Dimensions, has been in business for over 25 years. Barbara has had her own column in the Tribune family of Newspapers and the City Sun Times. She has appeared in magazines and on HGTV, and other television and radio programs. Barbara has presented seminars about The Bajaro Method and certified design professionals in The Bajaro Method™.  Barbara can be reached through or  work: 480-998-5088 cell: 602-292-3073

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